Quick fact about me: I love Heart. As an 8 year old, I used to inappropriately sing “All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You” and I’m sure I made a LOT of adults uncomfortable–a talent I’m glad to carry through my life to the present. My number one workout song is Barracuda. If I were to do Karaoke in a trucker dive in the south, I would sing Barracuda with with my ass kicking fro-mullet blowing in the breeze from an oscillating fan and all would hail me Queen PBR. In case you’re unfamiliar (for shame!) here is a vid of what real lady rocking looks like: 
Quick fact about being a celebrity: It sucks when you make one mistake and people, especially bloggers, never let it die. But first, Fergie peed her pants(hahaha) and has now committed another pisser of a crime.
I think it then goes without saying that when Fergie appeared on Good Morning America and instead of singing My Humps she sang Barracuda, I felt that she was peeing not only in her pants, but on rock and roll, and more specifically, America.
But who the hell am I to describe this schadenfreudan experience better than my favorite blogger ever, Amelie Gillette, aka, the Hater.
Another thing about Fergie? She knows her audience. Most performers would stand on the Today show stage in Rockefeller Center, look out at the dozens of sweatshirted tourists holding signs, 8th graders on class trips, and families with small children who consider Al Roker’s humor to be “spicy,” and decide to tone down their act. After all, it is a morning show, and the kids are three feet away–maybe you should save your “suggestively stroking the middle-aged guitar player on my knees” bit for afternoon gigs. But not Fergie. She took one look in the embarrassed eyes of the kids at the end of the stage, and gave them exactly what they wanted: a 33-year-old pop singer on her hands and knees screeching and writhing mere inches from their faces, with only the thinnest layer of Lycra separating them.
How much red bull and meth do you think Fergie downed backstage?
[UGH – WordPress isn’t letting me embed the video, so here is a a link to the video (and commentary) on the Hater.]
Because it's our prerogative 