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Archive for July, 2008

*Sigh* Things that are wrong with this email:

  1. The person who sent it never picks up her print jobs and always prints in full color. She also tends to print things multiple times.
  2. Someone else sent a slightly less passive-aggressive email two weeks ago asking people to pick up their print jobs as they send them.
  3. Why am I CC’d when she is directly asking me to do something?
  4. This office has eight full-time staff members. Is this kind of thing really necessary?
  5. Exclamation points and smiley faces do not hide the fact that you are being a bitch for no apparent reason.
  6. This person will email me and ask me to work on a spreadsheet; when I go to do what she asked, I realize she took the time to email me to ask me to make formatting changes, not content changes. I think it took her more time to compose the email than it took me to copy-paste one sheet into another.

So maybe the last one isn’t relevant to the email, but you get the idea. Sometimes I feel like my fellow assistant-level slave and I are the only reasonable (not to mention computer literate) people in the office.


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This is my new favorite video by the people who brought you the video in which the Showbiz pizza band performs a song about having sex in a nightclub.

As always, my favorite part is the creepy ventriloquist wolf and his ability to blink his eyes separately.

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Pussycat Boobs

It is Pop Wednesday in my office because I am hyper and alone and no one can tell me to turn that shit off. I just heard this song for the first time.

And I honestly thought the lyrics were:

When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have BOOBIES

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Back off, SimSkank

So, my beloved PTC and I are big geeks, in case you hadn’t noticed. We hang out and play the Wii on Saturday nights when we should be somewhere drinking expensive booze in expensive shoes. We are also bloggers who cross-reference each other and have fake fights in our GChat statuses. I think you get the geeky picture.

So, naturally I didn’t blink an eye when PTC decided that he wanted to play the Sims again (is it retro now?) and he wanted to create a family* of us. We spent some time giggling over what we should look like and what our personality traits would be, and laughed when our Sims seemed to honestly represent us in Simland. I wear hats and cardigans and he jumps on couches for fun. Natch.

I came home from the gym last night and was greeted with a heartfelt “I’m sorry! I love you, I didn’t mean it, I wasn’t watching me, I was making you learn how to cook a new dish, and when I looked back, I was making out with some girl who wandered into our house. I stopped it once I noticed, but you’re seriously pissed at me. All of your dislikes are my face, and you are angry at me 75 points!”

I laughed, and sat down with him to give some pointers.

“Try apologizing, then compliment me, then ask me to slow dance.”

Rejected.

“Ok, I’m more pissed than I thought. Maybe you should apologize a few more times, buy me a little present, and let me sleep it off. I’ll feel better tomorrow.”

Not only did this not work, but SimMe wouldn’t even let him near the bed. He was kicked to the digital curb in a serious way.

He got increasingly more frustrated. “Why don’t you just let me apologize?! I didn’t mean it!”

“Then you should have thought of that before you made out with wandering trampsicle who shows up and ruins lives!” (I couldn’t resist.)

PTC proceeded to apologize to real me and SimMe for the rest of the night. And continued today. When he turned the game back on just now, not only was I still mad and giving the Simlish silent treatment, I was also aggressively cleaning.

I love technology.

———

*I find this an interesting aspect of being in a long term committed relationship but not being married, and how it becomes ground for outsiders to not recognize that there is a space between “single” and “married.” PTC was able to create a “family” of the two of us where our last names were meshed to create a new one, but the only options of declaring our “relationship” were roommates, friends, and married. So, we’re a family of two with a mashup name who are roommates. How pomo.

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When CerealMom and I used to work together, we would make and share lunch almost every single day. Now that she’s freelancing, we’ve reunited on the backporch of my workplace. Today’s lunch was delicious–and all thanks to my weekly produce box from New Leaf. In fact, our salad was so quick-to-make, simple and tasty, I thought I’d share the recipe.

Grapefruit and Chevre Salad

Ingredients:

  • 4 oz dill-encrusted chevre
  • 1 medium-sized grapefruit, peeled and cut in half
  • 3 bunches of arugula
  • 1 T extra virgin olive oil (the more pungent the better)
  • Sea Salt and fresh-ground pepper to taste

Rinse arugula, trim stems, tear into bite-sized pieces and place in bowl. Juice 1/2 of grapefruit into a mug and whisk with a pinch of salt, oil and pepper. Cut the other half of the fruit into bite-sized chunks and place in bowl with arugula. Add dressing and toss. Crumble chevre over the top to finish.

We served our salad up with a side of avocado and some whole wheat Breton crackers. I imagine that it would make a pretty tasty dinner too–especially if served with toasted almonds and a cold, half-pint glass of hefeweisen or a white ale (FYI: Lagers tend to be too bitter for an arugula pairing. I think the milky quality of the hefe or ale is a great compliment to citric and chevre.)

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WANT

(via Wired)

Sure, Wall-E might be fascist and hypocritical, but after 90 minutes of hugging myself and giggling on account of the overwhelming amounts of cute-meets-awesome I am foolishly susceptible to Wall-E related merchandise. Especially the opportunity to actually own my very own Wall-E. Check out more at the Wired blog – you could be able to take this little guy home to your children (or your adult girlfriend.  Ahem). Also, I would endure Disney World again for a chance to have Wall-E pretend that he loves me.

(Big props to Mr. MiddleChild for Knowing What I Like)

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My iTunes is gathering dust lately because all I want to listen to is Muxtape. Lastfm and Pandora were short-lived excitements for me, but Muxtape is a music-sharing (not trading) site that I am so down with because it is so e-z. And totally free of the social networking bullshit: no comments, no way to even know who compiled the mix you’re enjoying (or hating). Sure, its probably all just an Amazon plot to get us to buy their MP3’s, but Amazon is much closer to my heart than, say, iTunes, so I’ll let it slide.

Side Note: iTunes does try to sell music by mixtapes, but via “celebrity playlists,” an iTunes function used for the likes of Sarah Jessica Parker and Kelly Ripa to tout singles and b-sides by Maroon 5, Mazzy Star, Massive Attack and Broken Social Scene.

On Muxtape, you can make your own mix, or choose whatever suits your fancy from a randomly generated list. [Try it out: Muxtape.com/Random -SB] With so many to choose from, chances are, you’ll find a few bad eggs. I can usually spot these musical missteps with my keenly honed sense of musical snobbery. For example, if I see artists like Sublime, Brian Setzer Orchestra, Kid Koala or Atmosphere I have already decided I don’t want to hear it. There was a great post that Moe over at Jezebel wrote yesterday that addressed what she calls “Late Onset Rocksnobbery.”

And despite blindly judging dozens of faceless Muxxers who like 90’s rap-rock fusion bands, bouncing around muxtape makes you realize how much we all have in common. Eventually we all come across a mix and think, “my best friend/lover/cousin/second grade teacher would pick the same songs.”

So, I’m tossing my first muxtape into the ring. I encourage you to make your own and link to it in the comments below–we’ll get an O.P.(P.) playlist going.

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